I‘ve always preferred using a pencil to a pen simply because they are far superior in every way, and always have been.

For instance, pencils were so revered in olden times that Shakespeare has his Hamlet soliloquize, “2B or not 2B…” in one of the most famous poems ever written.  It’s about hardness.

Plus a pencil works perfectly fine if you’re in space, but just try using a pen when you’re next in orbit.  Huh!

And pencils are very versatile. They can make eyebrows (eyebrow pencil), build almost anything (carpenters pencil) and even lubricate working parts (grease pencil.)  About the only extra thing a pen can do is put a point on a ball, and why would anyone want to do that?

Anyway, I got to thinking about how much I adore pencils and detest pens, so I wrote this poem.  If you love pencils like I do, sing along.  If you prefer pens then you’re dead to me.



HOORAY! for the Pencil and BOO! to the Pen


There’s a wonderful tool we all handle pre-school,

It serves us all well ‘til the end.

It transmits our thoughts and leaves no messy blots,

Like a gooey, ridiculous pen.


It’s the perfect utensil, it defines existential,

I give it a ten out of ten.

It won’t get you down or cause blotchy blue frowns,

Like a filthy, execrable pen.


Did you misplace a comma? There’s no need for drama,

Upend and erase! Then again,

If you let slip a brain fart you’ll just have to restart,

Toot! Toot! goes indelible pen.


The upsides are endless, yet some are still senseless,

Way weird, well out of my ken.

Why would anyone choose to still miserably use,

A wretched, despicable pen?


So please scribble sensible and use only a pencible,

I’ve said it, I’ll say it again.

Use ink over lead, you’re not right in the head,

No good ever comes from a pen.