MY SUMMER VACATION
By Robbie ______
Flew in an aeroplane from Kamloops Bee Cee to Vancouver Bee Cee to Victoria Bee Cee. Packed my fishing gear beer rum and cookies and went to Port Renfrew Bee Cee for one week of salmon fishing with pro guide Dave Hoban. Stayed at Camp Hoban. Fished from MV Hoban. Caught many chinook salmon but killed only a few. Killed many, many more beer and rum than fish. Saw bear. Saw bear swimming in river. Saw otters, seals, sea lions, gulls, arctic terns, dummer ducks, dumber fishermen. Smoked many cigarettes. Killed rum Breezers. Killed more beer. Killed too ribs, chicken, steak, ham, roast beef, Mrs. Swanson’s Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies and Mrs. Brenda Hoban’s homemade Dream Loaf. Had many, many dreams…all about fishing. Last night in Port Renfrew Bee Cee killed too much white rum at Camp Jordan. Killed many aspirin next day. Felt like death warmed over yet surprisingly refreshed after time on ocean with pro guide Dave Hoban.
Came out of Port Renfrew Bee Cee and ensconced on Malahat Bee Cee. Mom and Dad live there. Played cards and lost. Lost many times. Lost too roast chicken, halibut, lamb chops, Mrs. Swanson’s homemade scones, eggs, bacon, fruit and yoghurt, many delicious versions of grilled sandwiches and a big tub of ice cream. It all just disappeared. Cut lawns. Cut wood. Cut gas (blamed halibut.) Read lots from my new book. Watched some Olympics on teevee. Wonderful visit and many stories of the humorous variety. Very relaxing time with my two best friends.
Had overnighter in East Sooke Bee Cee at Larkin house. Killed yummy steak and potato. Salad already dead. Had visit with Bob and Geoff and Paul and Cathy and Guy and, of course, John and Tammi. Much catching up. Many laughs and tales of funny stuff. Serenaded Bob with Pink Floyd cover during double-puff. First time ever I was first to bed. True story!
Had dinner too at the LeQuesne house. Went with Bob as he is cheap date. Tanya cooked like slave in kitchen all day. “Over-woked,” she said. Killed rice and pork and broccoli and shrimps and wons and tons. Mike and Janis Henwood visited too…unexpected pleasure! Tanya showed pictures from her hike. Tom lied about winning at poker game recently. Very nice visit with much humour and humorous tales. Big lightning and thunder roared overhead. Rained sideways.
Went to big city of Vancouver Bee Cee. Met Barry and went and killed dynamite roll, assorted tempura, spicy tuna roll and tea. Short visit but very enjoyable. Especially since Barry paid for what we killed. Met up with Norman. Made short work of some beers and barbequed pork chops at Glen and Sasha’s house. Then went to Princeton pub to pick up waitress, then went to waitress’s house for more beers. She showed us her monkey. Much hilarity ensued. Very, very late night. (Late morning, truth be told.)
Watched golf and Olympics at Glen and Sasha’s house. Barbequed steak and sausages and made it all disappear with vegetable stir fry and red wine. Talked politics, travel, sports and arts and leisure. Sasha entertained with stories about Russian family. Laughs and guffaws were had. Even chortles.
Got on bus to come back to Kamloops Bee Cee. Had pleasant tour of south Abbotsford Bee Cee as we avoided accidents on Highway One Bee Cee. Got home late but not so late that I couldn’t kill chicken and rice. They had it coming.
And that was my summer holiday.